Come to me

Love, I want you,

And yet you steal,

My peace of mind,

What an unfair deal!

Love, you love playing,

Hide and seek with me,

But i’m tired of searching,

For something that i can’t see.

So should i give up,

And let you be?

Maybe now it’s your turn,

To come to me.

Temptation

If I could just stare,

Stare at you from afar,

You take my breath away,

What a work of art you are!

The steel in your eyes,

That smile that can kill,

I try to resist,

But fail I know… I will!

And when you are close,

I sometimes breathe in your scent,

Couldn’t you come a little closer?

You don’t need to ask for my consent.

My cheeks go red,

When you look my way,

Half of me can’t move,

The other half wants to run away.

And so you continue to tease,

You devil in disguise,

And I continue to stare,

With my hungry eyes.

The Past

You can’t move on,

You still live in the past,

You haven’t let go,

So the hurt will last.

You want her now,

Yet you let her be,

Too afraid, too lost,

To see what could be.

You make excuses,

You run away,

No matter what she does,

You are deaf to what she may say.

So she admits defeat,

She’s hurt, she cries,

You feel torn from inside,

You can’t see tears in those eyes.

Yet you do nothing,

You feel frozen and dead,

While you still live in the past,

She will move on ahead.

 

 

 

Treat a woman as she is….

Reblogged because i like the thought behind this + i love Clint Eastwood + I love this picture

A Nine Pound Hammer....or a woman like you, either one of these will do

and she will remain what she is.

Treat a woman as she could be, and she will become what she should be.

Clint Eastwood 1969

 

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Moonlit night

I kissed you,

Under the moonlit sky,

A light breeze arose,

And hushed my sigh.

You held my hand,

Pulled me close to you,

Under the shade of the tree,

Bashful I grew.

You smiled, you laughed,

You played with my hair,

Into those eyes I stared,

I really did care.

Enveloped with those big, strong arms,

I held you tight,

It was perfect,

That moonlit night.

Unloved – Part II

Part 2 of the Unloved series :). For those who haven’t read part one: this is the link:

https://theladyhawk.wordpress.com/2013/06/19/unloved-part-i/

————-

Celine wiped the blood off Ishamel’s knee and put on an anti-septic ointment.

He looked up at her, his eyes big and brown.

“Thank you..miss.” He said shyly.

She ruffled the hair of the six year old boy.

“Now run along, you”, She said gruffly. Ishmael was their landlord’s son. He was forever following her around like a puppy, a fact that both distressed and amused her.

Rafael said she had that trait…she could make people want to be with her, she had an air of warmth and complete self – assurance. Perhaps Ishmael missed his mother, who had passed away last year due to a miscarriage. It had been a messy business, she recollected, when it had happened. Ishmael had locked himself up in his room and it was Celine, who had coaxed him out and wiped his tears.

Since that day Ishmael’s love and devotion were towards her and her only.

She saw him skip towards the local playground, or what remained of it and felt a pang.

“Get a grip on yourself!”, She muttered to herself. She was feeling the rise of restlessness in her again. She didn’t want to be in one place for too long. No, she couldn’t. The longer you were somewhere, the greater were the chances of people depending on you. And she knew she would let them down. It was time to leave.

—————————-

“No.”

Richard, her ‘boss’ stared at her angrily,”Your request is denied. This will be your third transfer in four years. We cannot keep on accommodating these requests. How can you even want to leave at a time like this? You know how short we are on medical staff? You can leave now.”

Celine stared at him, her mouth falling open. She’d rarely seen Richard lose his cool. She picked up her transfer application and silently walked out.

“Good!” Rafael emerged from another room and watched her walk out. He sat down on a stool and offered Richard a cigarette.

“If you’d said yes, she would have run away again. Its about time that she stays and accepts reality.”

Richard ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I don’t get it…why? She is one of the best medical personnel we have…she obviously loves what she does…so why?”

Rafael was silent for a minute.

“I’ll tell you. But this stays between the two of us.”

Richard nodded, his eyes somber.

“Celine wasn’t always this…serious. She was an heiress – to a fortune. She was your typical girl next door, a cheerleader, a straight-a student. She married her high – school sweetheart and had two kids.”

Richard’s eyes widened in surprise. Married? Children? Who would have known!

“She got married quite young…she was barely out of college. Well…one day the family had gone out for a Christmas dinner. On the way back, they had an accident. Celine was driving. Apparently she was slightly intoxicated and she crashed into another car, the driver was drunk. Everyone, including the other driver…well…everyone died. She was the sole survivor.”

Richard let out a deep sigh. ” So she blames herself for it?”

Rafael nodded,”Yes, to this very day. She hasn’t forgiven herself. That very day, she lost everything. And now, whenever she feels she is getting too attached to something, she bolts. That’s why i told you, the transfer application would find its way to your desk soon.”

Richard snorted,”There’s no way in hell I’m going to allow that. What about you? Can’t you make her stay? What if she threatens to resign? I will have to concede then.”

Rafael smiled ruefully,”I wish, but no, she has a mind of her own. But I have a feeling she will.”

He got up, a glint in his eye.

—————————-

That night, she came to him.

Her kisses were softer than usual, they took their time; exploring each other, teasing, touching, caressing.

Afterwards, she turned towards him and ran her hands gently through his hair. He closed his eyes.

“Celine?”

” Uh – huh?” She whispered, tracing the outline of his jaw with her fingers.

” I had a word with Richard today.”

She froze and stared at him. “About what?”

He pretended not to notice her expression,”Well he told me that they are planning to open a hospital here. And he wants you to be the head nurse.”

He sneaked a look at her. She looked completely taken aback.

“This place has borne the brunt of too many wars and natural calamities. We managed to collect funds through one long, hard year of fundraising. The question is, would you be up for such a task? It will take a lot of time and effort. But you would help a lot of people. I think you would be brilliant at it.”

Celine looked away. It was true. She would be good at it. She knew how to take charge. She also knew what Rafael was up to.

She shot him an angry look.

Rafael smiled,”Well, think over it.”

He turned around and switched off the light.

———————-

Celine woke up early the next day. The sun had not even risen then. She walked back to her room. She paced up and down impatient and then opened her suitcase.

“Where is it!” She opened the other suitcase and threw out her clothes one by one…till she found it..a red notebook. Taking a deep breath, she opened it. There was a photograph of her family. Thomas and Jeffery, her two beautiful boys and Frank…the love of her life. She felt a tear roll down her cheek. It had been seven years but the pain was still extremely raw.

She heard a knock on her door.

“Go away! ” She snapped.

She heard a slight sob and turned around alarmed. She thought it was Rafael. But she saw Ishmael’s little figure dart outside.

She put her book down. “Goddamn it.”

She walked downstairs, he was sitting on the bottom-most stair, holding a bunch of wild sunflowers in his hands.

” Hey…” she said softly, sitting down next to him.

He looked up at her,” Sorry to disturb you. I got…I got …” he held out the flowers, he had tied them together with an old rope. But it was the most beautiful bouquet that she had ever received.

” Thank you…they…” She felt a lump in her throat and to her dismay she had tears in her eyes. Perfect time to have a meltdown. In front of a kid.

Ishmael looked at Celine’s tears and took her hand in his, “Don’t worry miss. Ishmael will protect you.”

He said it in a matter-of-fact voice.

Celine laughed, her vision slightly blurred. ” Why thank you Ishmael, but I am not scared, I’m just happy because I love the flowers.” She kissed him on his forehead and walked back up, his small hand entwined with hers.

Maybe, she would stay. For just a little longer though.

—————————-

Dealy Beloved, watch out for the supermoon!

Dearly Beloved,

Seems like I need to write to you more often.

The supermoon is out today. I’m sure it will be beautiful…it’s amazing how the moonlight can be so breath-taking at times. Nothing quite like it.

I guess you will be looking at the moon today as well. Well…just to let you know, so will I.

Love,

Me

Unloved – Part I

Celine wiped the sweat off her forehead.

” There…there…” she cooed, holding a crying infant in her hands. The baby howled even more.

” Here…let me…” Maria, a fellow aid – worker took the baby from her arms. Celine let out a sigh of relief.

She stepped over the debris of what was once an old building. There was no way it could have withstood the earthquake. That too of a scale of 8.5.

She walked over to the jeep and rummaged in her bag-pack for her cigarettes.

” You are not going to find them!”

She turned around to see Alan, holding them in his hands.

” Gimme that!” She reached out for them, but he was too tall.

Alan smiled. He loved teasing her. She was always so serious. So worked up. So intense. So hot. He liked to rile her up. She looked even hotter then.

Celine scowled at him and then shrugged,” Whatever dude. I’ll ask Rafael for some more.”

Alan’s smile disappeared all of a sudden as she walked away.

” Wait! Hey I was just kidding Celine…”

Celine ignored him and walked towards the make – shift shelter that the Red Cross had set up. Stupid kid. He had a huge crush on her, so huge that it was almost pathetic.

——————————-

Rafael was sitting reclined on a chair, his feet propped up on an old mahogany desk.

” And how may I be of service mademoiselle?” He smiled his slow, lazy smile.

Celine sat on the desk and smiled down at him. She had to admit it. He was sexy.

” Tough day? ” He handed his smoke to her.

She took a drag and then sighed. ” Yes. Sometimes I wonder, how can there be so much of pain…so much of devastation in this world? And this wasn’t even man made.”

He nodded his head. The earthquake was one of the worst ones that he had seen in many years.In a career, if you could call it that; spanning over twenty years he had seen it all. He had seen people come and volunteer for the Red Cross. But only a few stuck on. The rest left. Maybe because it was too much for them to take. Maybe because it was dangerous as well. Just over a year ago, he was working in Israel when he’d been injured when a bomb exploded right outside the Red Cross office. It was a warning. All foreigners had to leave. That’s when he had met Celine. She was a nurse. And a damn good one as well.

Rafael wasn’t a romantic fool. No. His wife had died when he was twenty five. He’d left his job, joined this place and had never looked back since then. Celine….no one really knew why she was here or for how long she intended to stay. Not that he minded. His eyes strayed to her neck, two of her buttons were unbuttoned and he could see the swell of her breasts.

Perhaps she sensed he was looking at her. She shot him a look of contempt and walked away.

————————

Back in her quarters, she undressed and lay down on her bed. She was so tired that she fell asleep immediately.

————————–

” No…no….no….” she woke up with a scream.

Again. The nightmare had returned.

—————————

” You ok? ” Rafael commented over coffee the next morning.

” Yes, I’m fine.” She snapped at him.

He blinked. She looked tense.

” Hey…” He touched her on the arm ,” Its me Celine. There’s nothing to hide.”

Celine looked into the eyes of her former lover and sighed, ” Bad dreams.” She looked away.

Rafael knew better than to talk to her then.

—————————

She woke up again that night. This would not do. She was not getting any sleep at night and she was working too hard everyday. Today, she had lost count of the number of people that she had treated.

She put on an overcoat and walked to Rafael’s door.

—————————

He had been expecting her. Celine had a pattern. She’d try to be virtuous and ignore him. But every now and then, she’d show up at his doorstep. Sometimes they made love, sometimes she just slept next to him, sometimes she wouldn’t sleep at all. He couldn’t figure her out. She had her demons to fight. He was willing to wait.

M is for Monsoon

A close friend of mine said that this season is the perfect season for romance. I wonder, is she correct?

This season can bring forth a wide range of emotions in a person. Especially a Mumbaikar. Oh yes, two years here have taught me how to:

– Beg auto rickshaw drivers to take me to office…which typically ends with me pointing towards a fictitious ankle swelling, puppy dog eyes and 20 extra bucks! :( Result : Better negotiating skills.

– You always need to be prepared with an extra pair of shoes, an umbrella, stuff to protect your laptop with (in case of a downpour),hand-sanitizer, a rain coat if necessary…altogether in Mad Eye Moody’s words: Constant Vigilance!

– Plan all my work and meetings in advance to beat rush hour traffic. Or make the best of a traffic jam by calling up old friends and catching up with them. Hence: Multi – tasking and efficiency!

– Make yourself a hot cup of tea and open the windows while its raining. Eat some unhealthy, fried stuff in some shady shop in a shady lane when you are on your way home. Go for a walk in the evening when there is a slight drizzle…maybe with a special someone to quench that longing that the rains bring with them. Yes, your umbrella is open and maybe you can share a romantic kiss in the rain, maybe you’d get a little wet in the rain…but its still very, very pleasant. Hence: Enjoy the little things in life.

I love this season…..it has more cons than pros…but i love it nevertheless.

If you forget me – Pablo Neruda

A poem that I love. A poem that actually personifies me! Hats off to Pablo Neruda.

————————–

I want you to know
one thing. 

You know how this is: 
if I look 
at the crystal moon, at the red branch 
of the slow autumn at my window, 
if I touch 
near the fire 
the impalpable ash 
or the wrinkled body of the log, 
everything carries me to you, 
as if everything that exists, 
aromas, light, metals, 
were little boats 
that sail 
toward those isles of yours that wait for me. 

Well, now, 
if little by little you stop loving me 
I shall stop loving you little by little. 

If suddenly 
you forget me 
do not look for me, 
for I shall already have forgotten you. 

If you think it long and mad, 
the wind of banners 
that passes through my life, 
and you decide 
to leave me at the shore 
of the heart where I have roots, 
remember 
that on that day, 
at that hour, 
I shall lift my arms 
and my roots will set off 
to seek another land. 

But 
if each day, 
each hour, 
you feel that you are destined for me 
with implacable sweetness, 
if each day a flower 
climbs up to your lips to seek me, 
ah my love, ah my own, 
in me all that fire is repeated, 
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, 
my love feeds on your love, beloved, 
and as long as you live it will be in your arms 
without leaving mine.