goodbye

The past year I have broken ties with three very important people in my life. Some ties have been broken to the point where I never want to see them again. I was sitting in my room in Chandigarh, deleting pictures or well trying to erase memories that I had shared with them. Ah, it still sends a twinge through my heart.

Am I too much of a sentimentalist?

Its not like I like cutting people out. I hate it. I am the kind of person who prides herself on maintaining bonds with those who matter. But somewhere down the line,I feel I have fallen short, in other cases people have let me down badly.

I’ve had friends who have been jealous and competitive. I’ve had friends who have left me in my lowest point in life and caused me unimaginable grief. I have had a friend who just disappeared out of the blue one day and refused to talk to me ever again. Like I never existed.

Well, to them I would say, one day you will be sorry that you left. Not in a bad way. But we both lost out on something beautiful. 

Can we ever make amends? No. Sometimes some things cannot be forgiven. At least even if I did forgive them, I cannot forget or trust them again. 

I’m really beginning to believe in karma and that everything happens for a reason. I shared some beautiful, amazing, fun and crazy times with the three of them.

And one, in particular. He came into my life when I had no one else, when I was shattered, when I really needed someone. Perhaps he was sent to my life just to make it better. And when his purpose was fulfilled, he left. I sent him this link because I am still so very angry with him for doing this. I do not enjoy this feeling of anger, hurt and resentment.

Perhaps I should just be grateful for those happy memories and move on. Isn’t that what we always do? Perhaps why we are not friends anymore is because their purpose in my life and mine in theirs is over. We no longer have any positive influence on each other. Who knows.

God works in mysterious ways. Perhaps I just need to have a little faith even though I cannot really understand why this is happening in the first place.

– Good night everyone;

Love, Ladyhawk

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