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I was at Fatboy’s Cafe…with you know…a couple of Fat Boys. Too much beer I guess. I took a big sip from my pitcher and wondered how long my liver would withstand this nonsense.
Randy, the bartender & I were now on friendly terms…on account of me having made this place my second…I mean third home. I checked my phone to see if there were any messages. From..you know…anyone…
Nada. Zilch. I was all alone. No mail in my mailbox. No text in my inbox. No friends. No Family. Nothing.
A normal person would have felt sorry for themselves I guess but I was past that.
A simple choice lay before me. I could continue to go down this path…and well…it would end badly or I could choose to get off this now…like today…and get a bit of normalcy back.
Normal. I didn’t like the sound of it. No, normal me was boring. Normal me would wake up in a bad mood, have a cup of coffee, rush to get ready in the morning…spend the entire day navigating through loads of BS at work, mentally kill my boss and colleagues at least three times, come back home, hit the gym and run till I couldn’t move and then collapse on my bed with some take out food and Netflix.
I took a deep breath. I impatiently tapped on my phone to find a phone of the one. Yeah…the one that got away. Not my ex. Or the one before him.
I deleted that photo. I deleted his number. And then I regretted it. But it had to be done.
I ordered a second round of beer, ignoring Randy’s disapproving look.
I wrote a long mail to my father telling him we were done and I never wanted to see his face again. Judge me all you want…he’d been an asshole of a parent and I was better off without him. I’d stopped getting angry at him. I was at a stage of indifference.
I wrote a mail to my HR, telling her I would be joining back in two weeks. Two weeks. I felt a bit scared. I didn’t know if I was ready to head back into the big, bad world just yet. Well…only time would tell.
Lastly, I called up Cheryl.
“I was wondering when you would call. Where are you?”
After half an hour she walked in, looking stern.
“You look like shit.”
“Do not!” I spluttered as I put my glasses back on to hide my dark circles.
She smiled and sat down beside me.
Randy looked at me and scowled, “Another one of your drunken friends?”
I scowled back with equal ferocity,”Shut up and do your job.”
He grinned at me and looked at Cheryl,”She’s my favorite so far. I’d even ask her out if she’d clean up her act.”
Cheryl snorted. “She’s fucking crazy. Don’t do it.”
Both of them grinned at each other. I scowled, pretending to be annoyed where as I was secretly pleased to know that at least two people in this God Damn world cared.
“So tell me…what’s been going on?” Cheryl spoke to me, her voice unnaturally gentle. I sniffed.
I looked at her and shook my head,”No, I won’t whine anymore. I just want you to know I’m sorry for being this way but..”
“I know honey!” Cheryl interrupted me.” I know I have been harsh…I’m sorry. I’m there for you.”
She gave my hand a tiny squeeze and to my horror, I felt a lump in my throat. Both of us sat there in silence…me – drinking my beer and her – squeezing my hand and teasing me about Randy.
After a long time, I smiled and I realized…I didn’t like being alone. No…it kind of sucked.
Over and out.