Revenge – Part 1

This is a work of fiction.

—————

They say you should be careful about who you rub the wrong way. The world is small, and you can bump into someone you hurt or wronged and then, karma won’t be the only one that sorts you out.

Look at me for instance. I was walking on Sunshine Boulevard, minding my business. It was a hot day, sweat was actually pouring down my face and in a long, long time I was feeling good. Maybe it was because of the extra pounds that I had shed. I looked and felt good.

So here I was, having a great day. I happened to look across the street and I saw him. Oh don’t even ask me for his name. I’d met him many, many years ago and he’d broken my heart to the point of no repair. I’d blamed him for my cynicism and overall negative outlook for many years later on in life till I forgot about him…time does that. It helps you to forget. So then why the efff was time shoving him into my face again?

I felt my blood boil. Hate. That’s what I felt. I was surprised at myself. I thought I had dealt with all the anger but nope, it was still stuck somewhere deep inside.

He was sitting alone on a bench, fiddling with his mobile. One of the qualities which I absolutely hated in him.

There were a thousand questions I wanted to ask him. Why did you leave? Why did you lie and cheat? Why did you vanish over night without a goodbye or an explanation? Why did you abandon me?

But I didn’t want to hear the answers. No, I wanted to hurt him.

He got up and started walking. In two minutes I would lose sight of him.

‘Not happening’, I muttered to myself. I zipped up my jacket, put my hoodie on and followed him. A strange thrill swept through my body, the thrill of doing something I shouldn’t be doing. I smiled. This was going to be good.


To be continued…

 

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Be Safe

I’ve written about this before…and I will write about this again.

It is great that women all over the world are coming out regarding sexual assault and misconduct. It is a sad and depressing thing…especially when it concerns people who one may admire like celebrities, film stars, athletes and politicians. However, why is it no surprise? People with power and money often abuse it.

Metoo

People all around the world are coming together to stand united and state that this kind of stuff is no longer going to be tolerated…whether that will actually come true or not…let’s hope for the best.

Which is why women need to learn how to look after themselves, stand up for themselves, stand up for other women and I’m sorry to say this, have a little bit of common sense.

When I’m talking about common sense I’m talking about things like not putting yourself in danger. Which means:

  • Don’t get into a cab alone if you are drunk and about to pass out. I know, you have a right to be drunk and you have a right to pass out any where you want but it makes you vulnerable to assault and that’s just not right.
  • Don’t go home with that creepy stranger you just met at the bar. And don’t EVER accept drinks which have been opened from a stranger – ever heard of date rape drugs? A free drink isn’t worth it. You are better than that.
  • Don’t drive on that stretch of road which isn’t well-lit. If there is an alternate route, take it. Needless to say – don’t give lifts to strangers
  • Learn some self-defense.
  • Learn how to use pepper spray. Buy one first.
  • Learn how to give share your GPS location with a loved one when you are in a car. Don’t get too chatty with the cab driver. He’s a stranger, he can mind his own business.
  • Be vigilant when you are in an elevator.
  • Be VERY careful when you are in a parking lot, especially at night.
  • Be careful about who you let into your house, whether it is the plumber or carpenter or the delivery guy, keep your eyes and ears open. As much as possible, don’t let too many people in.
  • Don’t post too many photos of your children online, and if you do – make sure only close friends and family have access to this information. You seriously do not want pedophiles to get to know when they live – do you?
  • Monitor your children’s internet usage. A lot of predators sit online – and you better be clued up.
  • If you are at a party, job interview or in any other situation where your GUT is screaming GET OUT, do me a favor and get out. Your instinct will usually turn out to be right.

All of us have faced some sort of harassment or assault throughout our lives. Our only crime? It is that we are women.

It maybe something like a delivery man ‘innocently’ touching your fingers when you pay him, someone whistling or breaking into a song when you walk past them on the road to people following you home, stalking you online and much worse.

My suggestion – wherever possible, report the offence. These guys (and in the case where women are guilty of misconduct) and women need to be locked up. Don’t stay silent – you have nothing to be ashamed about.

Be safe.

 

 

Being human

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How do you stand tall?

How do you not fall?

How do you still hope?

How do you manage to cope?

How do you forgive…

Those who took away your reason to live?

How do you still love?

Have faith in the one above?

How do you persevere?

Manage to spread cheer?

How can you be so kind…

I wonder if you are blind!

How do you still dream?

When your nightmares still make you scream?

How do you believe…

When you still have so much to grieve…

How do you do it…tell me…

How can you set yourself free?

Is this what it is to be human?

Will I finally feel like a new man?

 

 

 

Mercy

In response to today’s Daily Prompt – Mercy, I will be writing a small story.


Rosanne looked at her watch. He was late again.

She went to the ladies room and locked herself in one of the stalls, trying to brush back angry tears. Oh, she couldn’t afford to cry, for her mascara would run and ruin at least half an hour of hard work.

She’d been looking forward to seeing him for many weeks now.

‘I’m an emotional fool who will never learn’, she muttered to herself.

She’d grown tired of the cat and mouse game that she was playing with Todd. Todd was a handsome, intelligent man…he was a man’s man and not one of those lovesick puppies she encountered on a frequent basis. But he knew he was a catch and he probably was dating a few women on the side.

After a few minutes, she walked out. There was no sight of him in the restaurant. She called for the bill and left.

Her heart felt sad, because she knew they would have been good for each other. But when the time isn’t right…even your soul mate will not be able to recognize you.

<A month later…>

 

Todd was standing at the altar, sweat trickling down his neck. The tuxedo suffocated him. He could feel at least five sets of eyes staring at him with hostility.

Blasted bridesmaids. Rosanne had probably warned them about him.

He looked at his best friend, the groom, who looked like he was going to burst with happiness. Todd sighed, surprised at the twinge of envy he felt

The bride walked in with the maid of honor, and he swallowed nervously. Rosanne.

Swallowed? He probably looked like a fish, gulping down air.

Throughout the wedding ceremony he tried to keep his eyes averted from Rosanne’s. She looked beautiful. He cursed himself for not showing up that day. Women like that didn’t come along more than once or twice in a life time. But he liked being a free bird…didn’t he? He looked at the shining faces of the bride and groom. Maybe being tied down wasn’t too bad…

The bride and groom exchanged their vows and kissed, hand in hand they walked towards the reception area…oblivious of the world around them.

Inadvertently, he looked at Rosanne’s face. She gave him a cool glance and looked away.

He walked towards her, only to see her being pulled away by another man. She turned around to give him a sad smile and walked away.

‘God have mercy on me’, he muttered to himself ,‘ I need to make this right’. 


 

 

To the Sixteen year old me

Sixteen year old me…

Why do I smile sadly when I think of her?

A little flame that burned bright…

And eyes that always had light…

 

Sixteen year old me…

Loved music and books,

Maybe she should have focused on her looks…

But she was still a child.

 

Sixteen year old me…

Was too shy to talk to strangers…

Social anxiety my old friend,

I see you still are with me.

 

Sixteen year old me…

Was impulsive, unaware of the danger…

Of what opening my heart to love would mean…

But all I could do was wonder what could have been…

 

Sixteen year old me…

Knew what it was to truly love freely…

She could comprehend his fragile masculinity…

But only from a distance…for he was out of her league…

 

Sixteen year old me…

Didn’t know what the years ahead had in store…

Would they change her to the core…

Would she live up to what she thought she would be?

 

I had dreams…I had ambition…

I worked hard…harder than the rest…

I wanted to be the best…ace every test…

Did I try too hard? Hard enough?

 

I never fit in…I was a loner…

The cool kids stayed away from me…

‘She’s a geek, she’s such a bore…’

I heard those words more and more…

 

Kids can be pretty cruel you see…

They’ll make fun of you for having acne…

Or for a scar on your forehead that’s unsightly…

So you cut your hair so that they can no longer see…You try to hide what you think is ugly…

 

Sixteen year old me…

She had dignity…

She did what was right,

And when people hurt her, she hid it well…while she secretly cried at night…

 

She had a friend or two…

Her mother’s love made up for the rest…

Sixteen year old me…

She really did try her best.

 


 

This is a draft version of this attempt at poetry or whatever else one can call it…I could write more but I don’t know, I got a bit sentimental when I was writing this. This is one of the most heartfelt posts I have written in a while.

I don’t know if I changed for the better, but I feel that somewhere down the line I let myself down. The good news is I still have plenty of time to make things right. Do I regret anything…not really. Everything that happens in life happens to teach us something and we should learn from it. I have learnt things the hard way, unfortunately.

I was camera shy when I was 16. I thought I was ugly. I was a little chubby and I had this big dent in my forehead (i was born with it and it became more pronounced when I grew up). I was teased about it dreadfully in school to the point where I cut my hair and got a fringe to cover it when I turned 17. I am a Sikh and we aren’t really supposed to cut our hair. Back in the day, I was pretty religious so this was a big step for me. But it didn’t stop the teasing.

I always get really uncomfortable if someone shares/puts up photos of mine from my teens since my dent is visible and I struggled for a long time with being confident about my looks (I always looked grumpy in the photos) but no longer. I want to apologize to my younger self for not being more confident. Yes, cutting my hair made me look better but I will not be ashamed of the way God made me.

I was a shy kid – I still am shy though I can occasionally strike up a conversation with a stranger if I feel I am in a safe environment. Yeah, go figure. God has made me this way. :/

I hope in the years ahead I can be more like what I was when I was 16. Hard working, ethical, loving, quirky, kind and steadfast. I wasn’t perfect. No. I had quite a temper. But no one is perfect.

Over and out,

Ladyhawk

 

 

Aleyna Tilki – Sen Olsan Bari

I came across this video when I watched one of the react videos by the Fine Brothers Entertainment channel. The only Turkish artist I knew of was Tarkan, but she’s pretty interesting too. I liked the video as well. And Turkish women are beautiful or what?

I also liked the fact that the translation is there in this particular video.

I claim no rights to the video/song. Sharing as a fan.

Enjoy!!

Havana – Camila Cabello

I don’t know why but this song has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it. I like her voice. Lyrics are in the video.

Sharing as a fan. I claim no rights to this song.

Going Green

A few weeks ago, I’d promised to write about how we can contribute to preserving the environment in small ways…realistic ways…here are some suggestions which do not require a lot of investment but are easy to do and eco-friendly.

  1. Carpool. I know, I know it is a bit of a drag but it means fewer cars on the road and hey, it will be cheaper on your pocket as well! Uber etc. have this facility. Otherwise you can gang up with a few of your colleagues who live in the neighbourhood and take turns driving.
  2. Use cloth/jute bags instead of plastic bags for shopping. Even when you go shopping, carry a shopping bag with you and bring back less plastic back home.
  3. Buy houseplants. Keep them wherever possible. Caring for plants is therapeutic. It gives you a sense of purpose and pride to see something flourish. And also – it is good for the environment. If you have friends or neighbours – share a cutting of the plant with them! Grow your own veggies if you have space!
  4. Gift a plant to people. Believe me, it is a good gift. These days you can get some nice, fancy plant holders in which you can grow your plants (in case you do not want to come across as too cheap).
  5. Conserve water at home. Please remember that while you may think its harmless to have the tap running continuously when you are washing dishes/brushing your teeth/taking a shower this isn’t the case. Switch off the shower/tap when you really don’t need it. Be mindful of how much water you use.
  6. Start paying your bills online. I’m referring to your electricity, internet, mobile bill. Opt out of receiving paper bills and pay them online. File your taxes online AND
  7. Start reading online newspapers. I know, you like the feel of a newspaper in your hands early in the morning but think of all the trees which had to be cut to make them in the first place!
  8. Stop buying bottled water and carry a water bottle with you instead. Most packaged water is stored in plastic bottles. See my point? Get yourself a bottle made out of stainless steel (better than glass since it won’t break) and USE it over and over again instead of buying bottled water and adding to the huge mass of plastic waste that cannot be recycled.
  9. Turn off your lights! Yes – I’m talking about instances when you are sitting in your room and the lights in all the other rooms are on! Stop this bad habit. Every time you exit a room, switch off all unnecessary lights etc that are not required. You save energy in this process.
  10. Opt for organic food/energy conscious transport. If you can afford it, do it. Encouraging environment conscious organizations is a step forward in promoting them and discouraging those that aren’t.

Hugs! Share, if you care.

Ladyhawk

Man Vs Earth

I’m sorry if I am beginning to sound like an activist these days but I do feel strongly about saving our planet so that our grand kids and great grand kids don’t curse us for destroying their home.

Watch this video. Give it a thought. Spread the word. Go green.

Reposting as a fan. I claim no rights to this video.

Let’s talk about Genocide

Every one talks about WW2 with horror. Innumerable pictures of the concentration camps have left people appalled by the atrocities that the Nazis committed.

And yet, once again – we don’t seem to learn from history. No, we let things happen and once they happen – once its too late…we decide to step in. We. The world. Let’s give ourselves a hand of applause for fucking things up BIG time.

Let’s talk about the Yazidis. Who are they? Quoting from Wikipedia:

The Yazidis or Yezidis are a Kurdish religious minority or an ethno-religious group indigenous to northern Mesopotamia (see also Ezidkhan) who are strictly endogamous. Their religion, Yazidism is linked to ancient Mesopotamian religions and combines aspects of ZoroastrianismIslamChristianity and Judaism. They live primarily in the Nineveh Province of Iraq. Additional communities in Armenia, Georgia, Turkey, Iran, and Syria have been in decline since the 1990s as a result of significant migration to Europe, especially to Germany. 

Beginning in August 2014, the Yazidis were targeted by the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant in its campaign to “purify” Iraq and its neighbouring countries of non-Islamic influences.

Purify. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

While thousands of Yazidi men and young boys are either dead or missing, the crimes against women are horrific. Daily beatings/rape. Imagine someone doing that to you. Wouldn’t it break your spirit? Maybe you’d want to kill yourself. Imagine the anger, the hurt, the fear, the rage. And above it all, the gross INJUSTICE of it all. Makes my blood boil.

More people need to be made aware of this. While the UN (A failed establishment in my opinion) is ‘supposedly’ trying to investigate this and bring perpetrators to justice…I wonder how many of them will actually be caught and punished. How long will it take? Will they be killed or given life imprisonment? Will all of them be caught?

I watched an interview where one of the lawyers said that crimes against the Yazidis should be treated as a ‘genocide’ since it would mean that they would be recognized as a community, different from others. What a horrible way to be recognized, first of all. And talk about intolerance. Its spreading across the world like an epidemic.

Be thankful for your freedom. Be thankful for the little things in life…even if you don’t have much…you have a lot more than millions and millions of people on this planet and in that regard, you are fortunate.

For now – watch this. Educate yourself. Spread the word. More people should be talking about this.

Spread the word. Justice is required and on an urgent basis.

Over and out.

Ladyhawk