When its time for you to go

Misty eyes on a cold morning,

Memories flood in without a warning….

Of a better time…

When I didn’t give a dime…

Or worry about what the future would hold…

Of the weight of responsibilities when you grow old…

I walked through the park, sat on the swing…

Back then, life was good when you didn’t have to worry about a thing…

Your parents kept you safe and sound…

Your heart, body and little soul since they were always around…

Someone to lean on, someone to trust…

Someone who cared and over you, fussed…

As you grow old, with each passing year…

Your heart becomes a bit colder with each passing tear…

You see others for what they are…

You want to change, you try to raise the bar…

But deep down inside you already know…

You’ll be all alone when its time for you to go…

 

 

 

 

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Farewell, My Friend

Farewell my friend,

It’s too late to make amends…

I can’t be the one to always stretch my hand…

Your silence is now too hard to withstand!

Farewell, I wish you well…

I know you don’t care, as far as I can tell…

But someday you will think of me…

I’ll pop into you head…You’ll see…

I wonder then, what you will feel…

In those few moments of your life that my memory will steal?

My laughter, how I always felt like home?

The way I turned everything into a poem?

Coffee, old monk on the rocks?

Movies and senseless talks?

A confidant, a friend in need?

Someone who inspired you to write and read?

Whatever I was, I tried my best…

Thought we’d be friends till the end..But you left like a guest…

So farewell my friend, this is goodbye…

I give up, no longer will I try.

 

…………

 

 

 

 

Mad Love

From the moment that I lay eyes on you…

You made my heart flutter!

Goodbye confidence, good bye common sense!

I never knew that I was capable of a stutter…

Your eyes were full of mischief…

Your smiled because you knew…

When you asked me for a dance, took my hand in yours…

I was already on the way to falling for you!

You were everything I wanted…

I thought of you day and night…

At times I thought my heart would burst…

Yes indeed, such was my plight.

I would melt in your arms…

Like clay…

Perfectly content to be there…

All day…

And when we were apart…

I’d pine for when we would meet next…

I could feel the pain in my chest…

Till I’d see your ‘I’m back!’ text…

Love like that…sets you on fire…

Makes you silly, forget all reason…

You are lucky if you have it for life…

Or even a season…


If you’ve never felt like you’ve been hit by lightening then you have missed out.

Peace out,

Ladyhawk


 

 

 

 

 

 

Hold On

Life is a mountain…

The goal is its tip….

But circumstances make it difficult…

For me to get it in my grip.

I’ve been through so much…

So much it astounds me…

Resilience is a trait…

I never knew I had inside me.

Till I sat down one day…

Thought real hard …

Made a list of all that I’d overcome…

By stretching an extra yard.

Why should I care?

Of what other’s think or feel?

Only I know what I have been through…

Not once, did I ever kneel.

So hold your head up high…

Paste a smile on your face…

Be a little kind to yourself…

And thank God every time you say grace.

You have a lot of good inside you…

That you sometimes forget…

So I’m here to remind you…

To never regret!!

For the pain you have been through…

And the bad luck that others have brought you…

Just be thankful to be alive…

And for what life has taught you!

 


 

It’s never too late people. It is never too late.

Peace out,

Ladyhawk

 

Don’t

As you grow older…

You’ll realize that blood is thicker than water…

And for other people,

You really don’t matter.

This road is lonesome….

This road is tough….

You got to be a little heartless,

You got to be a little rough.

Don’t show them your soft side…

Don’t show them that you are kind…

‘Cos in the end you’ll be left alone,

No friendly face to find….

Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve…

Don’t love too freely…

‘Cos people only know how to take,

Yes – people are greedy!

Don’t be too quiet…

When they hurt your feelings!

Don’t be a pushover…

Or they will leave you reeling.

Be your own hero…

Inspire yourself, be your own best friend…

‘Cos you are all that you have…

Till the every end.

 

Update – Recipes on Instagram

While I am yet to finish the story I am working on, I made a new Instagram page for all the silly cooking I do at home.

Disclaimer – I am just an average home-cook but I enjoy pottering in the kitchen now and then so if you are interested in some simple recipes feel free to check it out. My Instagram handle is munchnscrunch!

Over and out!

Ladyhawk

Lone Star – Part 3

For Part 1 – Click Here

For Part 2 – Click Here


So much for getting some action.

My flight was a two hours late and to my horror, my ex-bestie was on it.

I scratched my head, wondering how such misfortune could befall me. I’d moved to a pretty isolated part of the country, sure that such encounters could be avoided.

Damn the tourism industry!

She hadn’t spotted me. Maybe the cap and the shades helped.

But I knew her – even though it had been close to a decade that I had last seen her. She was also by herself.

Then I corrected myself. I saw two women walk up to her, the trio started chatting excitedly about something. So, she had made new friends.

Friends. If you could call them that. The person that I knew her to be was someone who couldn’t distinguish a friend from a foe. She always ended up making friends with the wrong people and then acted as if the world had ended. That was one of the reasons that I had decided to drift away. I was always the one trying to buck her up and make her see that the world wasn’t such a shitty place till I realized I was just a therapist and nothing else. She’d stopped spending time with me, citing her career took up all of her free time.

I wasn’t dumb. Let me give you a piece of advice. If someone is too busy for you – all the time and where it seems like interacting with you is just a chore for them on their to – do – list – do yourself a favor and walk away. You’ll thank me for it later.

I walked away too.

Back then, when I wasn’t in great control of my feelings I’d felt blue about it for a long time. Now, well I could look at this situation dispassionately. Did I feel nostalgic? Yes. I did. But I didn’t dwell on it. That’s will power and being mentally strong. I’m not bragging. I’m being honest.

Soon it was time to board the flight. I walked past her, she didn’t even realize I was there. I chuckled softly.

Somethings never change.


To be continued….

 

Lone Star – Part 2

For Part 1 – Click Here.


I woke up at around 11.

11 AM. Come on, I can’t sleep away the whole day!

Ever since I’d taken to the solitary life, I slept much better. Perhaps it was due to the fact that I didn’t have much to worry about. People complicate everything.

You don’t believe me?

Let’s say you got a new job. Or got promoted. You excitedly share this news with people you love. And guess what – half of them do not sound happy – even if they try really, really hard to. Because we live in a world where we compare our success, our happiness with that of others. It is a constant competition.

It happened with me all the time. I was…or rather still am an ambitious gal. Back in the day, I naively thought that people would feel happy to see me do well but I saw over time, some of my so called best friends look sad or indifferent or even envious. Every time I got a new job or I made a new boyfriend or the time when I bought my first house. Sigh!

Now – I didn’t have to worry about that.

My phone buzzed. Stella, my assistant had sent me my updated work calendar. Yes, I did have an assistant. Unfortunately I could not cut off all human contact. Stella was 30 years old and a hot mess. But she was a good assistant. Once a year, we had a nice ritual of going for a company retreat. Stella & I.

It would usually be one of those plush resorts which weren’t too crowded. I’d swim and work on my tan while Stella would get hammered and then cry about her current fiasco of a love life. It would have been quite entertaining, if it wasn’t so sad.

Also, she didn’t want my advice so I just listened and nodded. Every.Single.Year.

What did I do for a living? Well. I was a virtual life coach.

Sounds funny, right? But you won’t believe the amount of money that people are willing to pay to hear the things that they already know. Throw in some wisdom, make a plan, follow up with them…the job was a breeze. I loved to see people succeed.

Maybe because at this age, I had enough to retire. But I didn’t want to. At the age of 40, I had a house of my own. I had a back yard where I grew a lot of vegetables plus a couple of fruit trees. I had a small coop where I kept hens.

No, I did not have a cow. I wasn’t a farmer. But I liked doing whatever I could on my own. It kept me active, healthy and relaxed.

I had a gardener – Jean. Jean was 21 years old, with six pack abs and a glittering white smile. I know what you are thinking but stop right there. Jean was as gay as they come.

As for me, I’d given up on love. I’d had a couple of casual hook ups now and then because hey – I was human. That was usually when I had to fly out of town for work.

And today was one of those days. I smirked. Hey – birthday girl, birthday sex, right?


To be continued.

Lone Star – Part 1

This is a work of fiction.

—————

I was 40 years old today. And there was no one to wish me. My parents were deceased. I’d divorced my husband fifteen years ago and made the conscious and wise decision not to have children.

I had no friends.

After years of trying to maintain relationships with people who didn’t really care I just stopped trying one day. I removed myself from social media, deleted everyone’s number and put all of those fake relationships behind me.

Sure, my so called bestie tried calling me a few times. But then I changed my number and that was it. We had drifted apart and after being treated like a doormat far too often, I decided even she wasn’t worth it.

Are you shaking your head in pity? Ah – don’t.

Did I need therapy? Well. That’s a tricky question.

A therapist or a psychologist would find me and the way I think fascinating and I could one day, be a case study discussed in some well known medical school.

But no – I did not need therapy.

I just liked being alone.

You see, some people saw it as a weakness. As a character flaw. But for me – it was my strength.

I got out of bed and made myself a hot cup of coffee and took out some butter cookies I had baked the day before.

Perfect.

Everyone who loves coffee will understand the bliss of taking a sip, just a tiny one and feeling the flavor flow through your mouth.

From my bedroom window, I could see the sun rise. The sky changed color from black and blue to orange and red and then light blue.

Beautiful.

My phone buzzed.

Don’t get excited – it was just a reminder for my to do list for the day. I told you, I kept human contact to a minimum.

But today was my day off…so I crept back into bed and switched off my phone. I would wake up when my body told me it was time to, not a second sooner.

I loved my life.


To be continued…..

 

 

You Loved Me , Not

You said that you must leave,

So I let you go…

I watched you pack and walk out of my house…

Helpless, I stood at the door…

As your footsteps faded…I walked towards my window..

To see if you’d turn to look at me…

Hoping that you’d change your mind..

Once you saw that you meant the world to me…

But you didn’t…

You drove away without a glance…

I ran downstairs, hoping for God knows what…

Maybe that you’d give me a second chance.

You called me later that night,

Asking if we could be friends…

If I was all right…

But I knew this is how our story ends…

You came into my life like a whirlwind…

You were always on my mind…

And now that you have gone for ever…

I shouldn’t keep trying to rewind…

Replay all the moments we shared…

But what’s the point when I forgot…

I loved you!

But you loved me not…