The Inner Critic

It’s like an unwelcome guest…

This voice in my head…

Always whispering to me the whole day…

And even when I go to bed…

You are worthless, 

You are no good,

You’ll always be alone,

God! It makes me feel so misunderstood…

It makes sure I don’t eat much…

It makes sure I don’t sleep…

And when I feel like I’m finally going to be happy…

Up on me – it suddenly will creep…

Talking doesn’t help,

Medicines make my head foggy…

I want this voice to vanish…

Stop haunting my dreams, making me feel all groggy…

I realize it has to stop…

I have to drown out this voice…

With a louder, chirpier, happier one…

A voice of my choice…

You’re doing great!

You’ll be just fine…

You are loved and appreciated…

I feed myself happy lines…

Drowning out the inner critic…

The demon inside…

Acknowledging life isn’t so bad…

It’s time to live it, no need to hide.


Dedicated to a friend of mine who has been going through a rough time. It is about time we recognize that a lot of people around us are depressed – and that it is quite likely that we will be depressed at least once in our lives. Mental health is very important – do not neglect it and do not beat yourself over small things. Life isn’t meant to be perfect. It is a journey – enjoy the highs and get some support during the lows. Learn to take care of yourself and if you can’t – its okay to ask for help.

Love,

Ladyhawk

 

 

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When its time for you to go

Misty eyes on a cold morning,

Memories flood in without a warning….

Of a better time…

When I didn’t give a dime…

Or worry about what the future would hold…

Of the weight of responsibilities when you grow old…

I walked through the park, sat on the swing…

Back then, life was good when you didn’t have to worry about a thing…

Your parents kept you safe and sound…

Your heart, body and little soul since they were always around…

Someone to lean on, someone to trust…

Someone who cared and over you, fussed…

As you grow old, with each passing year…

Your heart becomes a bit colder with each passing tear…

You see others for what they are…

You want to change, you try to raise the bar…

But deep down inside you already know…

You’ll be all alone when its time for you to go…

 

 

 

 

Farewell, My Friend

Farewell my friend,

It’s too late to make amends…

I can’t be the one to always stretch my hand…

Your silence is now too hard to withstand!

Farewell, I wish you well…

I know you don’t care, as far as I can tell…

But someday you will think of me…

I’ll pop into you head…You’ll see…

I wonder then, what you will feel…

In those few moments of your life that my memory will steal?

My laughter, how I always felt like home?

The way I turned everything into a poem?

Coffee, old monk on the rocks?

Movies and senseless talks?

A confidant, a friend in need?

Someone who inspired you to write and read?

Whatever I was, I tried my best…

Thought we’d be friends till the end..But you left like a guest…

So farewell my friend, this is goodbye…

I give up, no longer will I try.

 

…………

 

 

 

 

Mad Love

From the moment that I lay eyes on you…

You made my heart flutter!

Goodbye confidence, good bye common sense!

I never knew that I was capable of a stutter…

Your eyes were full of mischief…

Your smiled because you knew…

When you asked me for a dance, took my hand in yours…

I was already on the way to falling for you!

You were everything I wanted…

I thought of you day and night…

At times I thought my heart would burst…

Yes indeed, such was my plight.

I would melt in your arms…

Like clay…

Perfectly content to be there…

All day…

And when we were apart…

I’d pine for when we would meet next…

I could feel the pain in my chest…

Till I’d see your ‘I’m back!’ text…

Love like that…sets you on fire…

Makes you silly, forget all reason…

You are lucky if you have it for life…

Or even a season…


If you’ve never felt like you’ve been hit by lightening then you have missed out.

Peace out,

Ladyhawk


 

 

 

 

 

 

Hold On

Life is a mountain…

The goal is its tip….

But circumstances make it difficult…

For me to get it in my grip.

I’ve been through so much…

So much it astounds me…

Resilience is a trait…

I never knew I had inside me.

Till I sat down one day…

Thought real hard …

Made a list of all that I’d overcome…

By stretching an extra yard.

Why should I care?

Of what other’s think or feel?

Only I know what I have been through…

Not once, did I ever kneel.

So hold your head up high…

Paste a smile on your face…

Be a little kind to yourself…

And thank God every time you say grace.

You have a lot of good inside you…

That you sometimes forget…

So I’m here to remind you…

To never regret!!

For the pain you have been through…

And the bad luck that others have brought you…

Just be thankful to be alive…

And for what life has taught you!

 


 

It’s never too late people. It is never too late.

Peace out,

Ladyhawk

 

Don’t

As you grow older…

You’ll realize that blood is thicker than water…

And for other people,

You really don’t matter.

This road is lonesome….

This road is tough….

You got to be a little heartless,

You got to be a little rough.

Don’t show them your soft side…

Don’t show them that you are kind…

‘Cos in the end you’ll be left alone,

No friendly face to find….

Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve…

Don’t love too freely…

‘Cos people only know how to take,

Yes – people are greedy!

Don’t be too quiet…

When they hurt your feelings!

Don’t be a pushover…

Or they will leave you reeling.

Be your own hero…

Inspire yourself, be your own best friend…

‘Cos you are all that you have…

Till the every end.

 

You Loved Me , Not

You said that you must leave,

So I let you go…

I watched you pack and walk out of my house…

Helpless, I stood at the door…

As your footsteps faded…I walked towards my window..

To see if you’d turn to look at me…

Hoping that you’d change your mind..

Once you saw that you meant the world to me…

But you didn’t…

You drove away without a glance…

I ran downstairs, hoping for God knows what…

Maybe that you’d give me a second chance.

You called me later that night,

Asking if we could be friends…

If I was all right…

But I knew this is how our story ends…

You came into my life like a whirlwind…

You were always on my mind…

And now that you have gone for ever…

I shouldn’t keep trying to rewind…

Replay all the moments we shared…

But what’s the point when I forgot…

I loved you!

But you loved me not…

 

 

 

 

 

They mystify me

They mystify me…

These people with hearts of stone…

Or no hearts at all?

They will stand by and let you fall…

It maybe someone new…

Someone you just met…

And it could be a friend you’ve known for many years,

A friend who has recently been behind those tears…

They mystify me…

These wolves in sheep’s skin…

They will use you till its fun…

But at the slightest difficulty off they will go! Just see them run!

I am ashamed…

I am ashamed that I let myself get fooled…

I swore this time I’d be careful about who I let in…

And yet I can’t tell the difference between fake and genuine…

They mystify me…

These people with eyes that are emotionless…

Who don’t even pause to think…

About the pain that they are about to bring…

Do I wish them ill…

No, I won’t harbor hatred in my heart…

I just wish i’d known how they were from the start…

So I wouldn’t feel so torn apart.

 

 

 

 

I Will Remember

I’ll never forget you, my dear…

Of this, have no fear…

Others may drown their sorrow in wine…

Here you’ll be immortalized in prose and rhyme…

Others may need photographs and keepsakes…

On material things I no longer fixate…

For time cannot erase how much to me you meant…

And every single tender moment that was spent…

Frolicking between sheets, breakfast in bed…

All the confessions and what was left unsaid…

Your hair between my fingers, your hands entwined with mine…

The way you made heads turn ‘cos boy you were so damn fine…

I’ll miss those cosy dinners and nights at the bar,

Picnics, quiet times together driving in your car…

The way I quivered every time you held me close…

Made me feel things of which no one else knows…

And then…when you left, the bleeding heart ache…

As if through it you’d driven a stake…

Yes, you are no longer here…You are no longer mine…

But through my words the memory of you will shine…

 

………………..

Fall in love with a writer but beware. Shades of you will echo in how she would write about love and so, you will live on, in a distant corner of her heart and mind.

 

She

When she was born,

You didn’t want her…

‘Couldn’t give me a son’…

You loved to berate your wife and taunt her…

And when you had a son, he went to the better school,

You personally drove him to his cricket coaching class,

While she didn’t even have dolls to play with…

Her smile annoyed you, ‘She has too much sass’…

You grudgingly sent her to college,

And made sure she felt guilty about the expense…

And even the fact that she topped her class,

Didn’t matter to you, not even a cent…

To your horror she said she wanted to work,

Be independent, stand on her two feet…

‘But what about your marriage plans?’,you spluttered…

‘I have arranged for a boy for you to meet.’

So you forced her to meet random strangers,

Put her on display, like she was a thing…

Settled what her future would be in one meeting…

Forced her to put on that engagement ring…

You ignored your wife’s million requests,

You ignored the muffled sobs from your daughter’s room…

‘I’m doing what’s right for her, we won’t find a family like this’….

And so withered a flower that was meant to bloom…

Marry him, she did – as per your wish…

And he beat her for what she couldn’t give,

All the things he had asked for in dowry,

And pain at the hands of a man she again had to relive…

Bruised and broken, she asked for your help,

But the doors to your house were closed…

You left her alone, helpless and bereft of a way out,

So when she died, the way the men in her life treated her was exposed…

But it was too late,

No one could bring her back…

Empathy towards its women,

Is something our country lacks.


Makes me ashamed to call myself an Indian. I am lucky to come from a well-educated family, but not every girl is lucky. Many are forced to marry at a young age or forced to give up their daughters. They face verbal and physical abuse on a daily basis and silently put up with it. Indian men need to treat their women better. Big time.

Over and out,

Ladyhawk