You Loved Me , Not

You said that you must leave,

So I let you go…

I watched you pack and walk out of my house…

Helpless, I stood at the door…

As your footsteps faded…I walked towards my window..

To see if you’d turn to look at me…

Hoping that you’d change your mind..

Once you saw that you meant the world to me…

But you didn’t…

You drove away without a glance…

I ran downstairs, hoping for God knows what…

Maybe that you’d give me a second chance.

You called me later that night,

Asking if we could be friends…

If I was all right…

But I knew this is how our story ends…

You came into my life like a whirlwind…

You were always on my mind…

And now that you have gone for ever…

I shouldn’t keep trying to rewind…

Replay all the moments we shared…

But what’s the point when I forgot…

I loved you!

But you loved me not…

 

 

 

 

 

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Nobody But You

I drink to forget…

Forget about you…

Your face, your smell, your touch…

I drink when the feelings get too much.

I still wear the pendant that you gave me,

Many, many years ago…

You paid for it from your first pay cheque…

Put it around my bare, young neck.

A sparkling diamond, shining bright…

How I trembled when you kissed me that night…

Have you ever lost yourself in someone’s eyes?

You want time to stop, but it just flies…

Now that you are gone, I keep myself busy,

Yes – busy twenty-four/seven…

I do it so that I don’t have the time to think…

‘Cos ever since you left, life just stinks.

I don’t watch romantic movies…

Or listen to sappy songs…

No, that would be just wrong…

When just need to move along…

It’s not like men don’t want me…they do!

They try to charm me, pique my interest…

But they lack that special something…you know it too…

The truth is….there can never be anyone but you.

I am known for being pragmatic…

But with you, I listen to my heart…

I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you…

And I’ll love you till death do us apart.

 


 

Love makes fools of us all.

Love,

Ladyhawk

P.S. Some of you have been reading my blog for many years and this is a special hug for all of you. *Sends invisible hugs*.

 

 

 

They mystify me

They mystify me…

These people with hearts of stone…

Or no hearts at all?

They will stand by and let you fall…

It maybe someone new…

Someone you just met…

And it could be a friend you’ve known for many years,

A friend who has recently been behind those tears…

They mystify me…

These wolves in sheep’s skin…

They will use you till its fun…

But at the slightest difficulty off they will go! Just see them run!

I am ashamed…

I am ashamed that I let myself get fooled…

I swore this time I’d be careful about who I let in…

And yet I can’t tell the difference between fake and genuine…

They mystify me…

These people with eyes that are emotionless…

Who don’t even pause to think…

About the pain that they are about to bring…

Do I wish them ill…

No, I won’t harbor hatred in my heart…

I just wish i’d known how they were from the start…

So I wouldn’t feel so torn apart.

 

 

 

 

I Will Remember

I’ll never forget you, my dear…

Of this, have no fear…

Others may drown their sorrow in wine…

Here you’ll be immortalized in prose and rhyme…

Others may need photographs and keepsakes…

On material things I no longer fixate…

For time cannot erase how much to me you meant…

And every single tender moment that was spent…

Frolicking between sheets, breakfast in bed…

All the confessions and what was left unsaid…

Your hair between my fingers, your hands entwined with mine…

The way you made heads turn ‘cos boy you were so damn fine…

I’ll miss those cosy dinners and nights at the bar,

Picnics, quiet times together driving in your car…

The way I quivered every time you held me close…

Made me feel things of which no one else knows…

And then…when you left, the bleeding heart ache…

As if through it you’d driven a stake…

Yes, you are no longer here…You are no longer mine…

But through my words the memory of you will shine…

 

………………..

Fall in love with a writer but beware. Shades of you will echo in how she would write about love and so, you will live on, in a distant corner of her heart and mind.

 

She

When she was born,

You didn’t want her…

‘Couldn’t give me a son’…

You loved to berate your wife and taunt her…

And when you had a son, he went to the better school,

You personally drove him to his cricket coaching class,

While she didn’t even have dolls to play with…

Her smile annoyed you, ‘She has too much sass’…

You grudgingly sent her to college,

And made sure she felt guilty about the expense…

And even the fact that she topped her class,

Didn’t matter to you, not even a cent…

To your horror she said she wanted to work,

Be independent, stand on her two feet…

‘But what about your marriage plans?’,you spluttered…

‘I have arranged for a boy for you to meet.’

So you forced her to meet random strangers,

Put her on display, like she was a thing…

Settled what her future would be in one meeting…

Forced her to put on that engagement ring…

You ignored your wife’s million requests,

You ignored the muffled sobs from your daughter’s room…

‘I’m doing what’s right for her, we won’t find a family like this’….

And so withered a flower that was meant to bloom…

Marry him, she did – as per your wish…

And he beat her for what she couldn’t give,

All the things he had asked for in dowry,

And pain at the hands of a man she again had to relive…

Bruised and broken, she asked for your help,

But the doors to your house were closed…

You left her alone, helpless and bereft of a way out,

So when she died, the way the men in her life treated her was exposed…

But it was too late,

No one could bring her back…

Empathy towards its women,

Is something our country lacks.


Makes me ashamed to call myself an Indian. I am lucky to come from a well-educated family, but not every girl is lucky. Many are forced to marry at a young age or forced to give up their daughters. They face verbal and physical abuse on a daily basis and silently put up with it. Indian men need to treat their women better. Big time.

Over and out,

Ladyhawk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Weary Heart

My weary heart…

Treads alone on this lonesome path…

Leaving you and what you brought, behind…

Your lies and your words, oh so unkind.

Tossed around like a rag doll,

No more…I’m not your plaything…

Common sense, this time to you I will listen…

I must get away from him…my footsteps quicken.

Your ‘love’ is a joke…

In my brain, it’s a chemical imbalance…

It’s not for me, not for me…

My heart and my brain whisper this to me.

Pain leaves a wet trail on my cheeks,

Breathlessness, a missed heartbeat…

My body screams out in distress to me…

So first, I must learn how to take care of me.

You have to be your own hero…

Watch out for those who dim the light in your soul…

My weary heart has had it too rough…

And finally I’ve had the courage to say ‘Enough’

For on my own I am complete, long before I met you,

And I don’t need anyone to mend what’s broken…

I’ll do it myself, I’ll shine – I’ll be ME!

Of your untrue love, my weary heart will be free.

 


 

Dedicated to anyone who is in a toxic or abusive (emotional or physical) relationship. No, I am not talking about mine. I am fine. I am talking to those people who need to leave the ‘soul – suckers’ and break free from the cycle of negativity. You do you! You can do it, you are strong. You are complete.

Love,

Ladyhawk

When you fall

The time was never right for us,

We never were really meant to be…

Even now I wonder who you are?

What exactly do you mean to me?

You are not a friend,

Nor are you a foe…

You don’t have my best interest at heart,

You’ve been an unhappy person from the start…

My love you spurned,

And later for it you yearned…

But those three little words you couldn’t utter…

So now in frustration you seethe and mutter…

I extended my hand once more,

Let’s be friends, you shrugged;’sure’,

But you knew nothing about being a true friend…

And even less about how to make amends…

Every time that you hurt me,

I took you back…

My fault was in turning a blind eye..

To the things you lack…

So who are you to me?

You are nothing at all…

And this time I won’t be here to pick you up…

When you fall.

Bloodmoon

She is a creature of the night…beautiful and dangerous…she’s been hunting for her soulmate and she finds him…but he’s not the same…alas!!


Bloodmoon…the time when passions surge…

You know its futile to suppress this growing urge…

To make you mine, once and for all…

These plans of mine, I will not stall…

You are mine, I claim this right…

I will make my move tonight…

Kiss you under the milky way,

Stay with you till the break of day…

With the first ray of sunlight I’ll flee…

But rest assured I’ll be thinking of thee…

And I will make you pine for me…

I like how I can make your eyes shine for me…

I know what I want, I get what I desire…

I know how to set your heart on fire…

And when darkness sets I’ll be by your side…

Your hidden secret, your vampire bride.

Worry About This

Sorry to disturb you from your bliss,

But I think you need to worry about this…

Humanity is divided, when will we learn?

Is there any joy in watching each other burn?

Don’t feel like watching the news…

Looks like every one is going to blow a fuse…

Gimme a break, I want out…

What the fuck is the fuss all about?

Our polar ice is melting,

In other parts of the world its sweltering…

And some people say global warming’s a farce,

They need a kick up their arse.

Genocide’s on the rise…

But the world turns a blind eye…

First it was the Jews, now its the Kurds…

And all we are is a bunch of turds.

Human – trafficking, rape and murder…

She said ‘TIME’S UP’ and I hope you heard her…

Madmen on the loose, threats of nuclear war…

I guess humanity hasn’t come very far…

Driven by greed, we suppress and oppress,

Creating an even bigger mess…

I wish we could all just get along,

With love, we could be so very strong…

But all we do is hate and hate and hate…

We need to change…before it is too late…


 

Don’t think you are better than anyone because of the color of your skin…or your religion or which language you speak, which country you belong to. Remember when you die – you’ll be alone. You came into this world alone. Just like everyone else. 

Teach your children the meaning of respect – for others and EMPATHY for fucks sake. Empathy spans across all this shit which is the very reason why the entire world is in chaos right now. Open your eyes – and choose to be kind and oh – not so judgmental of people who act differently, dress differently and think or speak differently. We are all human. We are made of the same components – oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus.

Get the EFF over yourself and help to make this planet a better place for your kids and grand kids to live in.

Peace out,

A rather fed – up ladyhawk

 

 

 

 

Being human

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How do you stand tall?

How do you not fall?

How do you still hope?

How do you manage to cope?

How do you forgive…

Those who took away your reason to live?

How do you still love?

Have faith in the one above?

How do you persevere?

Manage to spread cheer?

How can you be so kind…

I wonder if you are blind!

How do you still dream?

When your nightmares still make you scream?

How do you believe…

When you still have so much to grieve…

How do you do it…tell me…

How can you set yourself free?

Is this what it is to be human?

Will I finally feel like a new man?